NotMyLife

 I am twenty three years old and I knew that I needed to transfer out of the small college that I had been attending if I wanted to continue my education. My dream is to become a doctor and help people in third world countries, especially Central America which is where my parents are from. This Spring is my first quarter at La Sierra University. I was skeptical at first about transferring to a university, being used to a small intimate learning environment at my local community college, it was scary and overwhelming to think about moving on. I made the decision to apply to La Sierra University after learning that it was a private college, it made me feel as if I could succeed as a student and not be lost in a big campus. After being accepted, I was very excited to see that the school is small and has a very intimate environment. La Sierra University is contributing to my career path by providing the perfect environment for my personality. I know that I need to feel comfortable to become successful as a student. The small class sizes and the caring staff has made me feel comfortable. If I have any questions or concerns I know that I can ask for help and not be just another student. La Sierra is also a faith based school. I didn’t think that it was important to go to a faith based school, even though I am a Christian, it was actually one of the reasons that I did not apply to La Sierra earlier. Growing up in a Christian family I knew that my faith was important but I had never thought about faith in my education as well, La Sierra provides faith based education without  disruption to the students. As a first generation college student I know that I will set the standard for education for my younger siblings and I wanted to show them that chasing their dreams is important.   As I mentioned before my dream is to become a doctor but I also have many interest ranging form science all the way to music and art. I wanted to go to a college where I could have a full range of experiences and be able to expand my knowledge on not just one subject but many. I know that La Sierra University has a broad range of fields that are taught in the small campus. As I start this new journey I know that I will be able to not only explore all of my interest but excel in the career path that is right for me. 

Psalm 119:99 I have better understanding and deeper insight than all my teachers, because Your testimonies are my meditation.

The walls close in and I stand helpless Your hand reaches in and brings me out I realized I never had control… I was always helpless From the beginning I was Yours  -Wendy  Picture isn’t mine: http://faithoncampus.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/reaching_out.jpg

I think we all have seen how fast this year has gone by. I like to look back, sometimes this hasn’t been a goodd idea but the good always outweights the bad :)… So here is a journal entry from earlier this year. April 09, 2011 Well i think that things do happen for a reason. I was hoping that everything was going to be rainbows and butterflies but I think that its not. But then again where would the adventure be? I do love to write that is one of the things that I always go back to no matter how tired I am. GOD is awesome there is nothing else to say. My life? nope His life makes the difference. I do I have always wanted to be different and to tell you the truth I am I think that the more I try to fit in the least I am able to be real. So I want to stop I want to quit this idea of jokes and dreams and pretending world with chaos! What I want is to be with God and to love him and for Him to hold me close. That’s it God I do I give up I need You and I want You I don’t ever want to be the same again. 

Romans 12:2 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Thoughts are keeping me up tonight… I feel like I’m not good enough like I have failed to get better. I know that God has a plan for my life He has a plan for all of us and I just know that this doubt is an attack. I’m really frustrated with myself Dear Lord, I know Your grace is sufficient for me. Sincerely, Wendy

So I’ve been putting off writing on here because I want to have the right things to say, but I’ve realized that I’ll wait forever. So….  I still don’t know what to do with my life. I have kept my original path this whole time should I have changed it? There are many ideas flowing around my mind and I just keep praying that God guide me in the steps I need to take. I am still working on surrendering everything to God but it is so hard. I need to let go and give in: surrender.  Psalm 32:8  ”I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with My eye on you I will give you counsel.”

I’m 23 yrs old and I wonder how all the choices in my life have lead me to this point. In reality I have spent my money unwisely. Now to fix unwise spending. So bad habits have to stop. I am here because God in His mercy allowed me to live I owe Him my life… and am more than happy to give it to Him.